Emotionally unavailable parents are there but not there. They do not talk or play with their children. They do not hug or smile at their children. They do not help their children when they are sad or scared. Their children are not taught how to feel good, make friends, or resolve issues.
Why are some parents emotionally unavailable?
Some parents are emotionally unavailable because they have problems. For example, they may be sad, sick, or addicted. Or they may be busy, stressed, or unhappy. Or they may have bad memories from their own childhood. In addition, they may not know how to be kind and caring. They may not feel good about themselves. They may also have trouble with their feelings.
How can you tell if your parents are emotionally unavailable?
Some signs of emotionally unavailable parents are:
- They talk to their children in a boring way
- They do not look at their children
- Their children’s interests don’t concern them.
- They do not spend time with their children
- They do not help their children when they are upset
- They constantly have other things to do.
- They never hug or smile at their children
- They never say “I love you” or show it
- When their kids embrace or kiss them, they don’t like it.
- They do not know what is going on in their children’s lives
How does having emotionally unavailable parents affect you?
Having emotionally unavailable parents can make you feel bad. You may feel:
- Unloved and unwanted
- Afraid and alone
- Sad and angry
- Numb and empty
- Hard to trust and love others
- Scared of being left or hurt
- Worried and depressed
- Bad about yourself
- Unable to cope and grow
How can you heal from having emotionally unavailable parents?
Having emotionally unavailable parents can hurt you. But you can heal from it. You can:
- Talk to someone who can help you, like a therapist or counselor
- Join a group or online community where you can share your story and feel understood and comforted by others who have been through the same thing
- Take good care of yourself by eating well, sleeping well, exercising, relaxing, and doing things that make you happy
- Be nice to yourself by saying good things about yourself and treating yourself well
- Say no to your parents when they are mean or unfair to you. Tell them what you need and want from them. Stay away from them if they make you feel bad.
- Make friends with people who love and support you for who you are. Spend time with them and have fun with them.
Some parents are unavailable. They do not talk or play with their children. They do not hug or smile at their children. In times of sadness or fear, they do not assist their kids. As a result, this can make their children feel bad. They may feel unloved, afraid, sad, angry, numb, empty, and bad about themselves. Additionally, they might struggle to love and trust others. But they can heal from it. They can talk to someone who can help them.
They can join a group or online community where they can share their story and feel understood and comforted. They can take good care of themselves and be nice to themselves. When their parents act cruelly or unfairly toward them, they have the right to say no. People who accept and love them for who they are can become their friends. Therefore, they deserve to be loved and supported for who they are. They can heal from having emotionally unavailable parents and create a happy life for themselves.